I am the Darkness, it Sleeps in your Mind, the Shadows that Haunt you at Night...

 

I spoke to people.

Quite a few people...

About my fears...

And now I'm even more afraid...

And there's still nothing I can do...

How do you escape?

How do you run?

 

It follows you.

Haunts you.

Possesses you.

Maddens you.

 

It consumes you until you are nothing but a hollow shell filled with a dark seething mass of fear and hurt.

It takes you over until all you can do is shake and breathe...

Shake and Breathe...

 

There is nothing left.

 

I have three weeks to do about a whole semester's work to catch up...

I'll be lucky to pass...

Even luckier if they let me go on to do next year...

And if I don't pass...

I think I will die.

 

I have people offering help...

But can they help me?

I don't think so...

God knows how much I need it.

Everyone knows how silently I scream for it.

 

But the fear has distanced me...

They cannot reach me.

There is nothing left.

 

There is so much I want to say...

So much...

 

But I can't...

Because of the Fear.

Because of what will happen if I open my mouth.

And it's not in my head this time.

 

If I open my mouth...

The Shit-eth... Will most certainly hit the Fan... Eth...

 

I know it will...

Just like last time someone opened their mouth.

 

It hurts.

You have no idea how much it hurts.

You can pretend.

You can give advice.

But you don't even know what's wrong...

 

And you probably never will...

 

Because I just can't...

 

All I can say is that I'm scared of the next three weeks.

The next three weeks I think will determine the rest of my life.

If I am still here after three weeks...

 

But even now I have said too much...

 

The Fear consumes.

The Fear drives.

The Fear... Oh God The Fear...

 

I am crippled by it.

And I can do nothing but sit by and watch as what I'm afraid of unfolds...

 

I know that if I do not do something in the next three weeks I will fail.

And die.

 

I know if no one helps me with that then it will probably kill me.

 

And they can't help me with that because...

Because of The Fear...

 

Oh God...

The Fear...

The Pain...

 

 

 

Give Me Back My Angels...

 

Bring my angels back to me...

For it feels like they have gone...

Right when I need them the most...

My angels turned to stone...

Left me in the dark...

With nothing but The Fear...

 

All that I have worked for...

Everything I dreamed...

All the things I strived for...

Everything I achieved...

There is nothing left...

But The Fear...

 

Give me back my angels...

Why did they have to leave...

Send them back to hold me safe...

In my hour of need...

Because I have nothing left anymore...

Nothing...

But the Fear...